Post-Exam Thoughts

I just finished my last exam yesterday, and as a science student, I also had to go through lab exams. The first one went smoothly, but the previous day?
I had to perform the one experiment I was totally unprepared for.

It wasn’t very fun.

But now here I am, back to being jobless and ready to rot for at least a month.
I’m not exactly jobless though... the last two months have been the busiest months of this year for me.

I got at least three posts in the PR and Marketing team and learned a bit of business jargon.
I did pretty well in college, except for the last few semester-end exams.
I finally set boundaries and priorities.
And I kind of got a clearer picture of everything in general.

And honestly, I’m pretty happy with how things went this semester.
The only thing that bothers me now is the results.

I woke up in the middle of the night yesterday and overthought... about probably not reaching the goal I set for myself.
And then I couldn’t sleep for a long time.
Yes, I did do well in college tests and everything. My attendance was more than perfect.
But will I be able to please myself?

As a person with high standards, I like being perfect as far as I can be.
So obviously, I want that SGPA goal I set for myself to finally be ticked off.
But now that the exams are done, I’m skeptical about reaching it.
And that’s not a good feeling.

I’ve heard dozens of lines like “embracing failure,” “failure is the step before success,” or “failure makes one strong.”

But it’s hard to accept failure... especially when it’s something I really wanted to get right.
And that’s something I know I need to work on.

But there’s also a corner of me thinking,
“What if I do reach the goal I set, in spite of all this?”

Every coin has two sides.
And I didn’t do that badly after all.
I might as well hit my goal... who knows?

So here’s a note to myself:
If I reach my goal, I’ll take a moment to celebrate it and thank myself for every bit of energy I put into this small step of my growth.

And if I don’t reach my goal, I’ll accept it, learn where I went wrong, and move on... with the will to bounce back stronger in the next semester.